Rude awakenings

Do you know what’s worse than heartbreak?
Trust-break.
Imagine:
you’re in a room, surrounded by everyone you trust in your life.
Beaming from ear to ear, you can’t believe how lucky you are, having these people in your life.
Suddenly, the room whirls, and everyone is paired up, doing trust falls. You join them, feeling completely safe in everyone’s arms, knowing they will catch you without a second’s hesitation.
You switch partners, and they grin. “You ready? You trust me right?” They say with a grin.
You nod, laughing, and turn around, throw your arms out wide, surrounded by the sounds & laughter of everyone important in your life, and fall.
And fall,
And fall,
And fall.
With a jolt, you open your eyes, expecting your partner to be standing above you, but they’re nowhere to be seen.
You find them a few feet away, in conversation with others, and despite everything you try, they can’t, or won’t, hear you, as if you were never there in the first place, as if nothing had happened.
You’re left, confused and invisible, in a room that had once felt like the safest place in the world.
Trust-breaks are the rudest of awakenings.

What If

staying awake tears me apart because my thoughts run so rampant they can’t be stopped.
Around every corner, in every second, something draws me back to that moment, forcing me to think, “what If?” Making me drown in it, be consumed by it.
It’s funny how two syllables can cause so much heartache.
But falling asleep is worse- it’s like a slow, suffocating, death that you can feel creep into your bones, one dream at a time. 

All I ask is to have one night where I get peace.