Everyone’s always said that you have a love/hate relationship with New York: you either love it, or love to hate it.
I beg to differ. My two years in NYC were filled with music & laughter, heartbreaks, losses, gains, and the most amazing people I could ask for. While I wasn’t in my element in the City, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Some days I miss New York more than most, and when that happens, I turn to the bittersweet melodies of Elbow’s New York Mornings, to remind me of the experiences & love I had for that city.
Dear New York,
You haven’t seen the last of me.
I’ll be back.
So, after my recent lifestyle change from Brooklyn to Kansas City suburbs, I’ve adopted this as my unofficial mantra.
Apparently, at the Grammys (which were last night? Saturday? i have no idea.), everyone was pissed that Beck won best album of the year over the typical radio-saturated artists like TSwift, Beyonce, Childish Gambino, and whoever else the masses are in love with.
Frankly, I don’t give a damn. I like Beck. I like Beyonce. …I don’t really like TSwift, but I respect her as being good at what she does. I’m in love with Childish Gambino (no seriously. Donald Glover…yeah he’s amazing)
Therefore, I’m just going to bring back a timeless classic from the 90s.
Give it up for Beck’s “Loser.”
So, I’ve published my 2015 Goal list. What I haven’t done, is a bit more personal, and I’m going out on a limb to actually publish it on my blog.
To me, goals & wishes are two completely different things. One is a solid, achievable goal- the top rung, the last step, something you can work towards. The other is something so seemingly far fetched, that it’s usually just tucked away on a high shelf, left to gather dust, or to pull down and admire once every few months.
Now, it’s time for my wishes.
- I wish I could be eternally optimistic for myself. I can be the “glass half full” gal 110% for anyone else, but when it comes to my life and personal situations, I’m not even a “glass half empty,” I’m more of a “there’s a crack in the glass and what was once half empty is now dripping onto my pants so it looks like I’ve peed myself” type of girl.
- I wish I was completely in love with my body. Yes, I know that body positivity is all the rage, but let’s face it, it’s a hard concept. I know that I’m in decent shape, but I know that I have a long ways to go before I can be totally satisfied with my physical appearance. When I stand in front of the mirror, I see a muffin top, small boobs, huge thighs, stretch marks and scars, and I’m not proud at all. My most comfortable stance is with my arms crossed tight across my chest, eyes down, brows etched in a scowl. I will do better.
- I wish I could be financially stable.
- I wish I could be brave enough to be comfortable with myself at any phase of my life- whether I’m alone, with someone, or ‘complicated.’
- I wish I could travel at the drop of a hat- to see things I’ll never have the chance to see when I get older.
- I wish I could have a glimpse into what my life will be like in 3 years- 5 years. Hell, it can be a 30 second glimpse, just give me something to look forward to.
- I wish I could learn languages easily.
- I wish math & sciences came to me easily.
- I wish I had more books.
- I wish I had more time.
- I wish I had the power to stop wishing, and be content with what I have. However, that only comes with time, so I may as well start now.