2015

I know I’m a bit late by society’s standards at making a list of “to-dos” for this new year, but I sincerely believe that you shouldn’t make resolutions, life-goals, whatever you may call them, right off the bat. As I do in everything, I ponder, reflect, and plan my next moves for the upcoming year. Too often, New Year’s Resolutions are left in the dust, because people aren’t able to follow through with the list, or because they didn’t truly find things they believed in. Yes, “loosing ___ pounds” is a good goal, but is it actually something you want to do, or are you throwing it out there so you aren’t the only one in your friend group without a Resolution?
Well, by the end of 2014, I was no more than a pile on insecurities held together by whiskey and the arms of my close friends. Bad decisions, shaken confidences, broken dreams and ideals, coming to the end of my rope…things piled up, and I was a bit worse for wear. Essentially, I felt that if life had a yard sale, I’d still be forgotten in the back garage while the chipped kitchen ware and 30-year-old golf clubs could be bought for a dollar. This year is different (I’ll be sold for TWO DOLLARS!! …just kidding), so here they are:

15 for ’15

  1. I will be at peace with myself (myself meaning: my PRs, my body, my education, my emotions, my everything).
  2. I will have savings. (With New York inhaling all of my earnings, I’ve found myself with no savings at all. This will change)
  3. I will be stronger, both emotionally and mentally.
  4. I will treat my body with respect. It will be clean, healthy, and the strongest it’s ever been.
  5. I will start savoring memories, not things. I need to reduce my life. I’ve dwelt on meaningless things for far too long. More photos, more writing, less possessions, more space for the people I love & the things that are truly valuable.
  6. I will read more. Believe it or not, I haven’t finished a book for leisure in some time. (#gradschool)
  7. I will become less attached to technology, and more attached to the people physically in my life. Let bygones be bygones. Technology keeps strings tied to things that would otherwise be long gone.
  8. I will travel more. I need to appreciate being young and having time. This is a beautiful country, and a breathtaking world we live in, and I need to see more of it.
  9. I will become fluent in a language. I don’t have a particular one in mind, but being bilingual is a necessary life skill.
  10. I will find a job that I love. I will stop looking for “this will work” or “this sounds cool” or “it’s good for now,” and start looking for “I want this” and “I can live here” and “I would kill for this job.”
  11. I will love me for my own sake. A certain amount of self-love is healthy. Too much is narcissism, yes, but like mom always said, “all things in moderation.” and this is no different. I have skills, memories, traits, unique to only me, and that’s pretty amazing. I need to believe that I am worth something.
  12. I will spend more time alone. I don’t mean in my room with my computer and iphone and netflix and day-old pizza with Murder, She Wrote reruns, I mean truly alone: myself, my thoughts, peace & quiet, no distractions, just reflection.
  13. I will pick up a new hobby. Why not?
  14. I will pick music back up: I’ll sing again. I’ll play the cello again. I’ll pull out my guitar, I’ll dust off my piano sheet music…
  15. I will live every day to the fullest. No more “accidentally wasted __ hours online” no more sleeping til noon. It’s time I grow up.

 

New Year, New Chapter

2014 had more ups & downs than a soap opera, but then again, so does life. After all, what would we do if everything was just as predictable as an old rerun of Happy Days?
There was always a light at the end of the tunnel (thanks Third Day), even though I had no idea what was in store for me afterwards. December saw me finally complete the academic rat race that I’ve been running for the past six years, when I completed the final courses and graduate portfolio that fulfilled the requirements for my Masters of Library & Information Science from Pratt Institute. Soon after that, I flew home for an extended holiday as I recharged and threw myself into the job hunt full time.

During the holidays, I was able to pull myself away and focus on the uncertain path ahead. I’d never quite planned past getting my graduate degree, so for the first time in my life, I was directionless. The idea terrified me, and the feeling of being completely untethered to any sort of goal or endgame unnerved me to the Nth degree. However, God blessed my life with amazing, wise, & understanding parents, and a sweet sister who were willing to help me through the murky process of creating a solution, however temporary.

This brings me to the whole reason for this novelesque post: I’m moving away from New York City, and back to the Midwest for an unforseen amount of time. This decision was deliberated carefully, and honestly, debated hotly. However, over the past few weeks, thanks to the clear head of my parents, & a nice stock of whiskey,  I’ve come to terms with the fact that my time in New York is at an end.

My flight back to New York is January 24, and I’ll take a few days to pack & ship my clothes & books, and say my goodbyes. As LCD Soundsystem says, New York, I love you, but you’re bringing me down. I always knew that my endgame was never to live in New York, but over the past two years, the Big Apple has carved out a niche in my heart all its own.

To all of the amazing people I’ve had the blessing to meet, you guys have changed my life, and have become a permanent part of it.
I’ll always be DCH4Life & a Waterbaby, and dragonboat is forever in my blood (and on my arm). I won’t stop working in hopes I’ll find myself in a boat again (along with those really weird tan lines).
DCH 2014

To my wonderful roommates, MJ and Wendy, you guys have become like sisters to me more quickly than I thought possible. I can’t believe how lucky I was to find such amazing women quite literally overnight. We took an empty apartment & made it ours, and if there was any way feasible for me to still live with  you guys anywhere in the US, I would.
I can’t possibly name every amazing person that I have the privilege of having in my life because of New York, but the memories (hazy or no) will always be with me.
The happy hours, the road trips, the weeks with only $5 to last you til Friday, the late night tattoos on St. Marks, street meat at all hours of the day (or night), and somehow being able to navigate traffic with a full cup of coffee, bagel, phone, & laptop case in hand…with the occasional umbrella (I’m still not sure how I did that)- they’ll all be missed, and there is no way they can be replaced.
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sleep nyc tuesday

times square morning 10170819_10152316114676291_2041918772877260276_n

Who knows, perhaps I’ll end up back on the East Coast someday, but til then, keep it classy, New York. You’ll always have a portion of my heart.