Before I’m 30

Before I’m 30,
I want to forget the shit I went through at 20.
I want to smile sadly at how naive I was at 21.
I want to remember fondly the things I learned at 22.
I want to feel like I was an ignorant shit at 23.
I want to cry at the friends I lost at 24.
I want to ache at the steps I took at 25.
I want to be satisfied with the foundation I set at 26.
I want to cement the choices I made at 27.
I want to save the relationships I found at 28.
I want to learn until I explode at 29.
Before I’m 30,
I want to live.

Before I’m 30,
I want a roadtrip across the country,
with nothing but the cash in our pockets, wind in our hair, and songs in our mouths.

Before I’m 30,
I want savings,
money that I don’t have to touch for years, decades, until I’m old and decrepit, sending my children off to school.

Before I’m 30,
I want a place of my own,
I want spackle and paint in my hair, cuts and bruises from moving, pictures on the walls, a permanent bookcase, floor to ceiling.

Before I’m 30,
I want a career,
I want a stack of business cards that I’m proud of, I want that swelling, prideful feeling when I am asked, “what do you do?”

Before I’m 30,
I want to see the world,
I want to revisit the cobblestoned streets of Prague, get lost in the Scottish countryside, work at Shakespeare & Co. for a month.

Before I’m 30,
I want to be happy with my body. I want to wake up every morning, excited to look like me, proud of every scar, stretch mark, curve, and flaw.

Before I’m 30,
I want another language, or two, three, even four. Forget being trapped within the walls of a monolinguistic life.

Before I’m 30,
I will run a marathon. Pure, simple, powerful. I will.

Before I’m 30,
I will feel like I can protect myself. I will learn a self defense form, I will protect the body I have been given with all of my strength, and in doing so, hopefully inspire others to do the same.

Before I’m 30,
I want to feel sexy: mind, body, & soul. I want a dress that makes me feel gorgeous, I want to feel that I can catch someone’s attention, I want deft fingers & a deft mind. Stilettos, silk, giving a shave with a cut throat razor.

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