all i know

If you were to ask me what the most used phrase in my vocabulary was,
it would be a tie between
“I’m sorry.”
See, the two biggest fears in my life,
are the fear of being a failure,
and the fear of being convenient.
I hide behind a veil of
“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay.”
I’m sorry.”
because I don’t know how else to react.
Confrontation is my Beast,
but i’m no Beauty.
I’m only locked in this room of self-doubt
because it’s all I know. 

‘Twas the night before classes

The night before classes and all through the house,
only one creature was stirring, quiet as a mouse.
She poured herself a glass of whiskey with care,
in hopes that sweet dreams soon would be there.
The cats were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of catnip dances through their heads.
The roommates abed,
And after cleaning the trash,
I settled down in the water for a long, peaceful bath.
When lo! In my mind there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my window to find what was the matter.
Then, looking at my thoughts, what did I see?
Nightmares of classes and anxiety. 
My worries all gathered round school and grades,
Though after 4 years an under grad, I should have it made.
But I worried, and fretted, and
overthought all.
Til worked into a frenzy I ran down the hall.
All the books piles high seemed to mock me and stare
When earlier that day, they sat with glee and with flair.
So into my bed I curled up with a gasp,
As old panicked dreams slid slowly from grasp.
When what do my haggard thoughts suddenly hear?
But the laughter of friends and loved ones held dear.
Then I remember that I’m not alone in this fright,
But surrounded by family and friends to hold tight.
For with the help of a few I get by,
And suddenly grad school and grades slip my mind.
So I wander back into the bathroom, now cold,
Pull up a warm bath, and exhale my ol
Fears and anxieties, having them slip my mind.
Because dreams are worth nothing without friends good and kind.
So as this semester begins, keep this thought:
Grades are important, but without love, we are naught.
So I close this story with one final plea:
Study, work hard, then the worries will flee.